Wednesday, February 10, 2010

10dp5dt

Still getting positive on my digital (and there goes the last of my hpts). I got up and went to work thinking my spotting had stopped. Only to go to the bathroom around 9 am and notice about a dime sized light brown blood on my panty liner (not much i know) but when i wiped i had a couple of small dark brown clots) I told my boss and she told me to go home. I called my RE office (they are closed due to the weather as we have bad snow) and don't have the on call number listed on there. I called the IVF nurse line and went straight to voice mail. I emailed my nurse and finally got a reply ( over almost 2 hours later) that said its too hard to know whats going on at this point. Just wait and get my beta drawn tomorrow morning. So here i am laying on the couch. Dh took the day off...i already took most of monday off andwill most likely stay at home in bed again tomorrow just to be sure that the spotting slows down.

I'm so scared. This is how my last pregnancy ended. I'm so sad and want my baby/babies to be happy and healthy. I want to see them laugh, kiss chubby little cheeks, hold them when they cry, and just be a mommy in general. And I know DH wants those same things...so why can't we just have a normal, healthy pregnancy. I thought if we got passed the morphology and had some healthy embryos this wouldn't be a problem. I knew it might not work...but hadn't really thought that if i DID get pregnant i would have yet ANOTHER miscarriage.

This just sucks :(

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