Sunday, September 8, 2013

One Last Shot

Hey Folks....

I have been going back and forth on if I should do this or not.  Finally I said, having a family is my dream.  Having a sibling for Eli is the most important thing I can come up with and I cannot let anything stop me from this.  However, that being said, the costs of miscarriages, 1 ivf and 2 frozen embryo transfers have left us with no money to pursue this option.  I am posting here a fundraising page to help us along the way.  Even if you are unable to donate, please read the story posted there and please ask any questions you may have about infertility or IVF.  I'd love to help those I can in the ways that I can .

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Whats new?

What a loaded question.  

Well long story short in the fertility world we used our last remaining embryo which did NOT result in a pregnancy so that is whats "new" on that front...a big, fat nothing.

On the job front, I have new hours.  I have gone back to scheduling and am now working from home in the evening and on the weekends.  This is allowing me to be at home during the day with Eli which is a lot of fun but also VERY tiring considering by the time I have worn both of us out I have to begin my work day.

On the blog front, I am going to begin my blogging again!  I had taken quite the hiatus but now that I am home I have more time to focus on stuff I want to do.  I am hoping this will help hold me accountable for the changes in my lifestyle I want to make.  My goal is to become a healthier and leaner person.  I have a lot of weight from the infertility treatments and my pregnancy with Eli left over.  Between that and Eli's picky eating habits, I plan to start a new lifestyle of healthy cooking and eating and blogging is going to (hopefully) hold me accountable.  I would LOVE if there is anyone reading this to post some of your fav. healthy recipes....and bonus points if I can actually get Eli to try it!

Well thats my overview today....hopefully I'll post on here more regularly and keep you up to date on my endeavors.  I am getting help with a friend on my menu planning/grocery shopping list next week (Friday is my shopping day).  I'll report back then on my findings at the grocery store :)

Friday, February 8, 2013

Where do we go from here?

I have one more month's subscription of clomid and have been afraid to take it.  I haven't been taking my prenatals and all "trying" has come to a halt.  I think this is because I'm afraid of failure and what it will mean for our family.  The odds of us conceiving are like zilch..... and a failure means one more cycle I have used meds to induce ovulation....which means one LESS cycle I'll have left to try.  Most Drs will only allow 12 total cycles with ovulation induction due to increased cancer risks.

I have I think 8 cycles under my belt....so if we EVER get the money to do a fresh IVF again....I need to save my chances. 

I'm feeling very much like this is it.  Not to downgrade the awesome miracle that is our son....but just that this is our family.  I wont get to see him be the proud big brother I know he'd be.  I wont get to hear my childREN playing together or break up sibling arguments by telling them to hug eachother.  I wont get to see my younger child idolize Eli in the way younger sibings do (until they grow up and realize big brother doesn't know and can't DO everything).

And the more I think about that...the more depressed I get.  I thought that by having one it'd be easier to see pregnancy announcements, but seeing kids dressed in "big sibling" shirts announcing the birth of a second or third is that much harder....and every day Eli is growing, changing, and astounding me.  Becoming this fun and awesome little guy and I hate that I feel like I need more.

Am I greedy for wanting more  of this?  For missing the early new baby things?  I don't think so....I mean....I want Eli to have a family after Joe and I are gone....siblings are SO important in my mind....

...sigh.....

Monday, November 5, 2012

Back on the TTC bandwagon/ roller coaster

Well.....the FET didn't work out.  Everything went perfectly, the embryos looked great, my lining was awesome, but they just didn't make it.  They call it "implantation failure".   So we're taking a few steps back for a few months to try to save up to use our 1 remaining embryo and trying the clomid route again.
I had my P4 tested  this past Sat to make sure that I ovulated on October 27th like I suspected, and it came back at 10.95.  Its a little on the low side for a medicated cycle, but still indicates ovulation.  We'll keep things the same next cycle (assuming I am not pregnant) and try again.  I NEED to get better though at taking my metformin.  I hate the side effects so I haven't been taking super regularly or my prenatals....its SOOO hard to get my head in the game this time and really stick with it all.
Keep your fingers crossed that we'll be able to make Eli a little sibling!

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Here we come baby #2

I hope!!!!!!    We decided to try a Frozen Embryo Transfer (FET)!!!  

I can't believe how long is has been since I last blogged.  Eli has kept me a busy mommy.  He's sooo big now in the 95% for height and weight, is running and climbing.  He's not talking much but he learns new words ever week!  He LOVES to do the itsy bitsy spider and sing the ABC which for him is mostly saying the letter D while dancing :)   I love that kid soooo much that we decided to try to make him a big brother!

We met with the RE last month and discussed the FET costs and procedures.  We have 3 frozen embryos and told the doctor that we would like to transfer 2 like we did with Eli.  The success rates for a FET are significantly lower so I'm soooo scared to fail but the Dr. said he thinks we have a really good shot at this being successful.

This is all riding on me getting my bonus this month so I have another week and a half to do as much as I can at work  and if I do.....then we'll be starting the FET process with my next cycle.  The transfer is about 6 weeks from the start of your period and then another 2 weeks after that we'll know if it worked!   So we have at least another 2 months to see if this works or not

Please keep your fingers crossed for us!

Friday, August 5, 2011

I can't believe it!

Life has left me little to no time for things like scrapbooking, blogging, etc. Things I once spent a lot of time working on...and I don't mind one bit. My little guy has totally taken over my life and I love every minute of it. Eli is almost 10 months old. He's being baptised this month and I'm working on planning his 1st birthday party. He's crawling and learning to pull himself up to standing. It's really amazing to see how much this little person has grown and learned in 10 short months.

Life and Eli cease to amaze me.

Friday, March 11, 2011

He's 5 months old!

I cannot believe that its been nearly 1/2 a year since my little guy came into this world. It literally feels like yesterday that Joe and I were driving to the hospital, eager to meet our little man. Today he's not so little. He is rolling over, has 2 teeth, is eating solid food (well baby solids), and is sitting ALMOST unassisted. We're still working on his neck stretches to help his torticolis and working on upper body strength. Other than that our little guy is doing so well!

Here are some pics...he was sleepy and i just couldn't get him interested tonight.

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